by Holly A. Phillips

 

My freshman year in college, my mom told me that dating had been doomed ever since girls started calling guys. She said it made men lazy. While I do agree with that sentiment to some extent, there are a few times when it’s okay to make the move and call your guy.

To take the guesswork out of this game, I talked to several of my friends and got the scoop on calling: when it’s okay and when it’s annoying.


When it’s okay to call:

When he tells you to call him.  Maybe he called and you were busy, so he asks if you can call him later; by all means call him. Perhaps you hung out and after you parted ways he says, “call me tonight,” then follow through.

You missed his call.  If you missed a call from him, of course it’s acceptable and polite to return the call. Obviously he wants to talk to you. Jonathan, a recent graduate of Southeastern University, said when a girl doesn’t answer, it makes him curious. “It makes me wonder what she’s doing, which makes me want to talk to her more.” However, don’t leave them wondering too long, Jonathan said after two calls in a row that aren’t returned, he feels rejected and stops calling.

You’re inviting him to do something.  By now, most of us ladies know men usually don’t call to chat. They have a specific purpose in mind and they keep the conversations short and sweet. So if you want to see him or are inviting him to dinner or a movie; of course, call!


When it’s not okay to call:

If he said he’d call you.  If the guy has plans and says he’ll call you later, do not beat him to the punch. Don’t wait by the phone; he will call. If he doesn’t, he will call you tomorrow. Sam, a junior at University of San Diego, said it’s annoying when he tells a girl he’ll call and she calls instead. “It makes her seem like she has nothing better to do.”

If you’ve already called and he hasn’t called back.  Chances are, he’s busy and hasn’t seen the missed call. If you keep calling and he doesn’t answer and doesn’t return the call, then there’s probably a reason for it. Calling over and over is just going to upset him. He will call you back.

If he’s been ignoring you.  Amanda, a student at Indiana University had plans with a guy for lunch the next day. However, that night she saw him out at the bar and he ignored her. She didn’t know if she should call the next day to see if they were still on for lunch. No. Do not call him in a situation like this. If he wants to keep the plans, he will call you to get the details. If he doesn’t call you, then eat lunch with your girl friends.


When it comes down to it, this all may seem analytical. However, when you’re dating someone new, we all want to put our best foot, or phone etiquette, forward. The bottom line is: if you really want to talk to your man, call him. But always remember that being a little less available makes you even more irresistible.